I hosted Pam Dunn as the first guest on the Beyond Presales podcast in August 2024. We discussed the importance of connecting with people and focusing on others. You can listen to her episodes now anywhere you get your podcasts.
Part 1 – Connecting with People
Part 2 – It’s Not About You
In today’s digital world, meaningful human connections have become increasingly rare. Yet, research suggests that intentionally connecting with others is not just good for our mental health…it’s downright necessary! Human connections directly impact our professional effectiveness and overall stability as people.
Why Human Connections Matter in Presales
As presales professionals, we spend our days communicating with prospects, partners, and teammates. But how often do we prioritize genuine human connection in these interactions? Studies show that our brains are literally wired for connection. When we engage in authentic conversation with another person, our brains release positive neurochemicals that improve our mood, reduce stress, and enhance cognitive function.
A fascinating study from the University of Chicago revealed something counterintuitive: people who were instructed to converse with strangers on public transportation (despite their initial reluctance) reported significantly higher happiness scores afterward than those who remained isolated. A train is about the last place that I want to talk to someone, but I can at least attest to having long commute times feel shorter when I’ve engaged with someone around me.
Making Connection About Them, Not You
The key to meaningful connection lies in shifting focus away from ourselves. After all, “It’s not about you!” as Pam mentioned during the show. When interacting with prospects, customers, or even colleagues, adopt the ALLY approach:
- Ask thoughtful questions
- Listen actively
- Learn from what you hear
- Take Your next action based on understanding
It’s not about you
Within sales, this approach works because it makes conversations about the other person’s needs, challenges, and perspectives rather than about your product features or technical capabilities. When you genuinely focus on understanding someone else, they feel valued and are more likely to trust your recommendations.
Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Connection Muscles
Like any skill, connecting meaningfully with others requires practice. Consider these approaches:
- Challenge yourself to strike up conversations with strangers (when appropriate and safe)
- Join communities around interests unrelated to work
- Practice being fully present during conversations (no phone checking!)
- Ask meaningful questions that show genuine curiosity
Remember that becoming better at human connection doesn’t just make you more effective at work. It contributes to overall life satisfaction and mental wellbeing.